You have cancer! What do you do?
Hearing that you have cancer is very frightening, and can have negative psychological effects. Fear can lower your tolerance to pain and leave you feeling helpless and isolated. It is quite normal to feel as if you have just been turned "inside out" and to be feeling out of control. Do not let the fear of hearing that you have a cancer diagnosis paralyze or immobilize you.
Here is a Top Ten list of survival tips and suggestions that were developed to help take the fear out of hearing you have cancer by offering you an opportunity to take back some control in your life.
Here is a Top Ten list of survival tips and suggestions that were developed to help take the fear out of hearing you have cancer by offering you an opportunity to take back some control in your life.
These suggestions are NOT offered as a substitute for conventional medical care.
They are things you can do IN ADDITION TO the advice of your medical healthcare team.
They are things you can do IN ADDITION TO the advice of your medical healthcare team.
1. Don't Panic!
Panicking means your thought-process has already jumped to the worst possible conclusion: "I'm going to die."
This may not be true. Cancer does not necessarily mean death. It is a word, not a sentence. This fatalistic thinking, also known as awfulizing and catastrophizing, is a cognitive distortion that impedes the ability to cope. It is an unhelpful thinking style and will only get in the way of rational and positive action. Making decisions while in a state of panic can do more harm than good. Allow yourself to take the time you need to gather your thoughts and consider what you have been told. This could take a few days, maybe longer. You need to be able to make clear decisions about yourself, your healthcare team and your treatment. In order to make these decisions, you need to stay calm and in control. This is more easily said than done, but you deserve this time. Give yourself permission to take it!
Panicking means your thought-process has already jumped to the worst possible conclusion: "I'm going to die."
This may not be true. Cancer does not necessarily mean death. It is a word, not a sentence. This fatalistic thinking, also known as awfulizing and catastrophizing, is a cognitive distortion that impedes the ability to cope. It is an unhelpful thinking style and will only get in the way of rational and positive action. Making decisions while in a state of panic can do more harm than good. Allow yourself to take the time you need to gather your thoughts and consider what you have been told. This could take a few days, maybe longer. You need to be able to make clear decisions about yourself, your healthcare team and your treatment. In order to make these decisions, you need to stay calm and in control. This is more easily said than done, but you deserve this time. Give yourself permission to take it!
2. You're in Charge!
You are the most important person on your wellness team! Know this and act on it! Take charge of your treatment. Surround yourself with specialists, technicians, family and caring friends. These people should be working at your direction to get you well again. If you are already feeling overwhelmed by the diagnosis and feel you cannot handle anything else -- think again! Leaving important life-decisions up to someone else is a BIG mistake. Allowing others to do this makes you dependent on them, and leaves them in charge of your life. Try not to be a passive spectator! Taking charge will greatly enhance your chances of survival!
You are the most important person on your wellness team! Know this and act on it! Take charge of your treatment. Surround yourself with specialists, technicians, family and caring friends. These people should be working at your direction to get you well again. If you are already feeling overwhelmed by the diagnosis and feel you cannot handle anything else -- think again! Leaving important life-decisions up to someone else is a BIG mistake. Allowing others to do this makes you dependent on them, and leaves them in charge of your life. Try not to be a passive spectator! Taking charge will greatly enhance your chances of survival!
3. Make some Phone Calls!
Call The National Cancer Institute at 1-800-4-CANCER (1-800-422-6237) or visit their website: www.cancer.gov.
Call The American Cancer Society at 1-800-227-2345 or visit their website: www.cancer.org.
Call The American Society of Clinical Oncology at 1-888-651-3038 or visit their website: www.cancer.net.
Ask them to send you, or search for, accurate, up-to-date information on your particular type and stage of cancer.
(Staging information located on the Education page on this site.)
Ask for information on state-of-the-art treatment options, comprehensive cancer centers and clinical trials. Your call is confidential, and the information is free!
Consider and investigate Integrative Medicine approaches to cancer treatment to complement your treatment options.
(Integrative information located on the Education page on this site.)
Call The National Cancer Institute at 1-800-4-CANCER (1-800-422-6237) or visit their website: www.cancer.gov.
Call The American Cancer Society at 1-800-227-2345 or visit their website: www.cancer.org.
Call The American Society of Clinical Oncology at 1-888-651-3038 or visit their website: www.cancer.net.
Ask them to send you, or search for, accurate, up-to-date information on your particular type and stage of cancer.
(Staging information located on the Education page on this site.)
Ask for information on state-of-the-art treatment options, comprehensive cancer centers and clinical trials. Your call is confidential, and the information is free!
Consider and investigate Integrative Medicine approaches to cancer treatment to complement your treatment options.
(Integrative information located on the Education page on this site.)
4. Ask Questions!
Understand that you are the consumer. You have the right to ask your doctor questions, questions and more questions. Ask away until you are satisfied. Your doctor is required by law to answer you in an understandable manner. Make sure you understand the answers. Have your doctor explain it again if you do not. Do not pretend to understand something because you feel dumb or intimidated asking again. Now is not the time to "assume" anything! Take the time to write down your questions before going to visit your doctor. This will save time in the long run. Also, take someone, better known as a healthcare advocate, along with you. A healthcare advocate is someone who acts on your behalf. This can be a family member, close friend, trusted coworker or even a hired professional. They can help ask questions, write down answers and other important information, speak up for you and help you get the resources you need. It may be helpful to record your visit. Most doctors have no objection to this. If they do, you should be looking for another doctor!
Understand that you are the consumer. You have the right to ask your doctor questions, questions and more questions. Ask away until you are satisfied. Your doctor is required by law to answer you in an understandable manner. Make sure you understand the answers. Have your doctor explain it again if you do not. Do not pretend to understand something because you feel dumb or intimidated asking again. Now is not the time to "assume" anything! Take the time to write down your questions before going to visit your doctor. This will save time in the long run. Also, take someone, better known as a healthcare advocate, along with you. A healthcare advocate is someone who acts on your behalf. This can be a family member, close friend, trusted coworker or even a hired professional. They can help ask questions, write down answers and other important information, speak up for you and help you get the resources you need. It may be helpful to record your visit. Most doctors have no objection to this. If they do, you should be looking for another doctor!
5. Get a Second Opinion!
It is always a good idea to get a second opinion from a board-certified oncologist before starting your treatment. Getting a second opinion does not mean you are in denial about your diagnosis. It ensures that your doctor stands a better chance of treating your cancer correctly the first time. Getting a second opinion offers you the opportunity to meet someone more in tune with your needs. If you are concerned about upsetting your doctor, ask yourself this: What is more important, hurting my doctor's feelings or increasing my chances of survival? Have your medical records sent to the second opinion physician. DO NOT ask your doctor to recommend someone for a second opinion. It is common for doctors to recommend a friend, which means you may not get an accurate second opinion. Doctors find it difficult to challenge the opinions of associates who are their friends. Find someone in a different group, possibly in a separate hospital or even in another town. You deserve to have the benefit of more than one opinion. It is your right to be fully informed!
It is always a good idea to get a second opinion from a board-certified oncologist before starting your treatment. Getting a second opinion does not mean you are in denial about your diagnosis. It ensures that your doctor stands a better chance of treating your cancer correctly the first time. Getting a second opinion offers you the opportunity to meet someone more in tune with your needs. If you are concerned about upsetting your doctor, ask yourself this: What is more important, hurting my doctor's feelings or increasing my chances of survival? Have your medical records sent to the second opinion physician. DO NOT ask your doctor to recommend someone for a second opinion. It is common for doctors to recommend a friend, which means you may not get an accurate second opinion. Doctors find it difficult to challenge the opinions of associates who are their friends. Find someone in a different group, possibly in a separate hospital or even in another town. You deserve to have the benefit of more than one opinion. It is your right to be fully informed!
6. The Right Doctor for You!
There is a strong connection between the probability of recovery and the confidence you have in your healthcare team! When choosing this team, you are seeking a balance of interpersonal skills and medical expertise. First, you want a doctor who is an expert in your type of cancer! This is very important for building your confidence in your doctor. Second, you want a doctor with whom you feel comfortable. Someone who welcomes your active participation, not someone who resents you for making your own decisions or for asking questions. It may take a while to find the right doctor for you, but you are worth it! You and your doctor are going to be together for a long, long time. Build a rapport and make it a mutually respective relationship right from the start! You are looking for someone to "partner" with. You especially want a doctor who gives you hope!
There is a strong connection between the probability of recovery and the confidence you have in your healthcare team! When choosing this team, you are seeking a balance of interpersonal skills and medical expertise. First, you want a doctor who is an expert in your type of cancer! This is very important for building your confidence in your doctor. Second, you want a doctor with whom you feel comfortable. Someone who welcomes your active participation, not someone who resents you for making your own decisions or for asking questions. It may take a while to find the right doctor for you, but you are worth it! You and your doctor are going to be together for a long, long time. Build a rapport and make it a mutually respective relationship right from the start! You are looking for someone to "partner" with. You especially want a doctor who gives you hope!
7. Treatment Options!
Make sure you know about ALL the treatment options available to you. If you are getting consistent information about your treatment options (let's say, from your diagnosing doctor, your second opinion doctor and other reliable medical and information sources), making this decision will be easy and straightforward. However, if you are getting different opinions about what treatment(s) to follow, you need to keep looking until you have information that is consistent. You should not be confused about which treatment protocol to follow! When you have done your homework and feel you have the best protocol for your treatment, decide and move forward with it! Making this decision is life affirming. Believe in it!
Make sure you know about ALL the treatment options available to you. If you are getting consistent information about your treatment options (let's say, from your diagnosing doctor, your second opinion doctor and other reliable medical and information sources), making this decision will be easy and straightforward. However, if you are getting different opinions about what treatment(s) to follow, you need to keep looking until you have information that is consistent. You should not be confused about which treatment protocol to follow! When you have done your homework and feel you have the best protocol for your treatment, decide and move forward with it! Making this decision is life affirming. Believe in it!
8. Informed Consent!
You should fully understand the exact procedure that is to be performed. The doctor -- not the nurse, the associate or the assistant, but the doctor -- is obligated to explain to you the purpose of the procedure, the risks involved in having and not having the procedure and any other alternatives. This should be done in words you can understand! You have the right to take the time to read this form completely and ask questions. Read it as many times as you need to in order to fully understand what you are signing and consenting to. Ask your healthcare advocate to read it over, too. You have the right to cross out statements you do not agree to. Remember that consent means voluntary agreement. You should not feel pressured into signing something you did not take the time to read or understand because someone is standing over you waiting for your signature. Let them wait! Exercise your right to be in control of your situation; do not be helpless. These are important decisions only you can make for yourself. You do not want to wake up from that procedure to find out it was not what you "expected." You do not want to hear yourself saying, "I should have asked, but... " Maintain your sense of free choice and your right to actively participate in your own medical decisions. Read and understand the informed consent form!
You should fully understand the exact procedure that is to be performed. The doctor -- not the nurse, the associate or the assistant, but the doctor -- is obligated to explain to you the purpose of the procedure, the risks involved in having and not having the procedure and any other alternatives. This should be done in words you can understand! You have the right to take the time to read this form completely and ask questions. Read it as many times as you need to in order to fully understand what you are signing and consenting to. Ask your healthcare advocate to read it over, too. You have the right to cross out statements you do not agree to. Remember that consent means voluntary agreement. You should not feel pressured into signing something you did not take the time to read or understand because someone is standing over you waiting for your signature. Let them wait! Exercise your right to be in control of your situation; do not be helpless. These are important decisions only you can make for yourself. You do not want to wake up from that procedure to find out it was not what you "expected." You do not want to hear yourself saying, "I should have asked, but... " Maintain your sense of free choice and your right to actively participate in your own medical decisions. Read and understand the informed consent form!
9. Reframing Cancer!
You have cancer - that does not mean you are cancer. You are still you! You can view your cancer as a threat or a challenge. It is a choice, and it is entirely up to you! Do you have cancer -- or does cancer have you? The way you think of yourself in relation to your cancer greatly determines how you experience your illness and how it impacts your wellness. You can help yourself maintain a positive outlook by "reframing" your cancer. Say to yourself, "I have cancer. I am not cancer, and it does not define me!" This is reframing. Reframing means you perceive your problems as possibilities! Turn a crisis into a challenge. Choose to see obstacles as opportunities! Stumbling blocks can be seen as stepping-stones! Use cancer as a turning point in your life! It may be a message for you to change. Take stock of your life. Are you happy? Are you fulfilled? Are you suffering through unhealthy relationships? If given the chance, what would you say or do differently from this moment on? Use cancer as a wake-up call to make changes in areas of your life that are not satisfying to you. Now is your chance because it is the present. You cannot change the past; the future is still ahead of you. You only have now!
You have cancer - that does not mean you are cancer. You are still you! You can view your cancer as a threat or a challenge. It is a choice, and it is entirely up to you! Do you have cancer -- or does cancer have you? The way you think of yourself in relation to your cancer greatly determines how you experience your illness and how it impacts your wellness. You can help yourself maintain a positive outlook by "reframing" your cancer. Say to yourself, "I have cancer. I am not cancer, and it does not define me!" This is reframing. Reframing means you perceive your problems as possibilities! Turn a crisis into a challenge. Choose to see obstacles as opportunities! Stumbling blocks can be seen as stepping-stones! Use cancer as a turning point in your life! It may be a message for you to change. Take stock of your life. Are you happy? Are you fulfilled? Are you suffering through unhealthy relationships? If given the chance, what would you say or do differently from this moment on? Use cancer as a wake-up call to make changes in areas of your life that are not satisfying to you. Now is your chance because it is the present. You cannot change the past; the future is still ahead of you. You only have now!
10. Manage Stress!
If you are alive, you have stress! There is no way around it. A cancer diagnosis adds tremendous anxiety to your life. How you manage your stress is very important for your recovery. Stress taxes an immune system that is already compromised. It zaps your energy, and can leave you feeling irritable, angry and depressed. You cannot afford this. It will drain you! Doing your homework (phone calls, research, asking questions, extra opinions, choosing the right healthcare team, learning about treatment options) and being prepared helps to ease anxiety. Finding ways to relax are important, too. Meditation and yoga are outstanding ways to relax your mind, body and spirit. Find a hobby and take time to play. Allow others to help – just tell them what you need and how they can assist you. Taking time out for you, known as self-care, is a great stress reducer! A helpful way to counteract awfulizing is to think positively and repeat affirmations throughout each day. Eliminate energy-zappers -- toxic people, unhealthy relationships. Negativity depresses your immune system! Good nutritional habits (offered on the Nutrition page), exercise (reduces anxiety and depression, and increases energy) and proper rest (allows the body to restore itself and heal) are excellent ways to manage and reduce stress. Keeping stress at a minimum is an important goal on your road to wellness!
If you are alive, you have stress! There is no way around it. A cancer diagnosis adds tremendous anxiety to your life. How you manage your stress is very important for your recovery. Stress taxes an immune system that is already compromised. It zaps your energy, and can leave you feeling irritable, angry and depressed. You cannot afford this. It will drain you! Doing your homework (phone calls, research, asking questions, extra opinions, choosing the right healthcare team, learning about treatment options) and being prepared helps to ease anxiety. Finding ways to relax are important, too. Meditation and yoga are outstanding ways to relax your mind, body and spirit. Find a hobby and take time to play. Allow others to help – just tell them what you need and how they can assist you. Taking time out for you, known as self-care, is a great stress reducer! A helpful way to counteract awfulizing is to think positively and repeat affirmations throughout each day. Eliminate energy-zappers -- toxic people, unhealthy relationships. Negativity depresses your immune system! Good nutritional habits (offered on the Nutrition page), exercise (reduces anxiety and depression, and increases energy) and proper rest (allows the body to restore itself and heal) are excellent ways to manage and reduce stress. Keeping stress at a minimum is an important goal on your road to wellness!
It is important to address your psychological well-being, also. Sadly, most medical practices ignore this vital part of the recovery process while focusing on your medical needs. Talking to someone who can be objective, like a professional counselor, can help you manage the unpleasant emotional side effects of having cancer, while allowing for an open expression of fears, losses and uncertainties, which well-meaning family members and friends may not be able to handle.
"Start by doing what's necessary; then do what's possible; and suddenly you are doing the impossible."
- Francis of Assisi
- Francis of Assisi
For an appointment, please call or text: (561) 529-4488
Office: 7711 N. Military Trail, Suite 216, Palm Beach Gardens, FL
Office: 7711 N. Military Trail, Suite 216, Palm Beach Gardens, FL
Disclaimer: If this information and format look familiar, it is because it is being used without my permission on another website. This information was originally created and featured by me to establish my non-profit organization, Taking The Fear Out Of Cancer, which was formed to help people take the fear out of a cancer diagnosis through the dissemination of researched information and knowledge, up-to-date links, and the distribution of cancer-information newsletters.
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2018 - 2024
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2018 - 2024
All rights reserved worldwide.